“Freedom begins way back. It begins with not doing what you want, but with doing what you ought – that is, with discipline” ~ Elizabeth Elliot
This musing was written about the battle inside. The battle between fleeting pleasure and eternal gain. It is so easy to fall for ‘small’ temptations like social media, that extra tv show, movie, book. All the ‘harmless’ things which draw us away from God and rule our spirit.
Why, oh why? Why do I allow myself to fall into the trap again and again? How come it is, when it comes to this, my resolve, my desires, go by the way side and I do naught but comply? Why do I allow myself to ruin everything day and night and night again? It is so ridiculous! I should be able to stand up and face it, to say no, to be strong in the Lord.
Instead I chase feelings, emotions, words, but none satisfies. Why is my heart so dreadfully wrought in two? One side longs for God and His ways, words, and adventure. The other, for fleeting satisfaction and temporary fixes. Time wasting fixes of social media, movies and books – simple things, good servants, terrible masters.
How do we fight it? How does God forgive us? He who gave us everything and we cannot even give Him our time of day. I cannot understand. Why do I want to avoid this world, this reality so much? It is my sinful nature which draws me from that which I love and desire to that which I crave and covert.
Forgive me Lord. Your ways are true, and your purposes just. May I have a heart after Your own.
♡
Musings by Tee 